


To Walk a Mile in Your Shoes

by DianaandAlicia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Set between 7x03 and 7x04, Sickfic, The other main characters are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24689524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia
Summary: After what happened with the reactor, Raven gains understanding after a discussion with Murphy.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & John Murphy, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Emori & Clarke Griffin, Emori & Raven Reyes, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), John Murphy & Raven Reyes
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	To Walk a Mile in Your Shoes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! So I don't know if anyone else thought this, but when I was watching 7x04 with my mom, the plot line with Clarke, Raven, etc. Finding the disciple seemed very abrupt and it felt like it was dropped in the middle of the show without a good introduction. At first I thought we missed stuff from last episode but that's not how 7x03 ended. Because of this, I had a hard time distinguishing how much time had passed on Sanctum between episodes so for this story, the events of 7x03 and 7x04 are a day or two apart.
> 
> Anyways, this is my take on Clarke and Raven getting their relationship on good terms after the reactor mess. Murphy's dialog about Clarke's decisions/reactions during season five are my actual opinions about the show and it's ok if you disagree, but please keep any disagreements you may have civil.
> 
> I hope you like it!

Twenty-four hours after being admitted to the small medical facility on Sanctum, Emori and Murphy were still sick, and feeling just as terrible from the radiation exposure as the day prior. Despite how bad they were feeling, Jackson needed the space and told them that they needed to do the rest of their recovery at the farm house, in the comfort of their bed. 

Before the big move, Jackson sat down in between their beds to check their symptoms and vitals, before asking if there was anything they needed or wanted. 

“I want Clarke.” Emori whimpered, curling up into a ball when her stomach started to cramp again. 

Jackson nodded and Niylah, who had been helping him, went to go find Clarke and explain what was going on. 

Ten minutes later, Clarke walked into the room, glared at Russell who was sitting up in his bed on the opposite side of the room, and came over to where her friends were. 

“Hey.” She said gently, putting her cool hand against Emori’s burning forehead and pushing some of her hair back that was plastered to the skin with sweat. “How are you feeling?” She asked, though she knew exactly what the answer was. 

“Bad.” Emori whimpered, reaching her hands out to Clarke. 

The blonde nodded and took Emori’s hands, noting how comforting the contact was to her. 

“Miller is going to carry you to the house. Jackson and I will be right behind you guys, helping Murphy, and once you’re all set up in bed, I’ll be there to take care of you all day.” She explained, in the same gentle voice only reserved for Madi these days. 

Emori nodded and Miller gently picked her up, before turning to Clarke. 

“Any instructions until you get home with him?” 

“Take her up to my bedroom.” Clarke said, referring to the giant master on the second floor. 

“What about our bedroom?” Murphy asked weakly, and Clarke gave him a small smile. 

“My room has an en suite. It’ll be a lot easier on all of us in the house when you need to take a shower or use the toilet. Just a few steps out of bed compared to a long walk down the hall from your room.” 

“But what about Madi? And you? Where will you sleep?” 

“We’ll work it out. You and Emori come first.” Clarke said in the same soothing voice as the two watched Miller carry Emori out of the medical center. 

Since Murphy was strong enough to walk, Clarke and Jackson walked on either side of him, working together to hold him up as they made their way to the farmhouse. It took longer, the usual five minute trek took fifteen minutes because of how slow Murphy needed to go, but they eventually made it to Clarke’s bedroom without any trouble. 

When they entered, they saw Emori throwing up into a bucket Miller had put under her chin, and she looked like she was in a lot of pain, along with being exhausted. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and Clarke knew she was miserable. 

“Oh, I know Emori. It doesn’t feel good.” Clarke said softly, going over and rubbing her friend’s back while Jackson helped Murphy into bed. As she comforted Emori, the memories of how she suffered by herself after Praimfaya came back to her. She was in worse shape than Murphy and Emori were in, and it took her two and a half weeks to start feeling better but that didn’t do anything to change the fact that radiation sickness, no matter the severity, sucked. 

“She did this.” Murphy said, his voice filled with anger. 

“Shh.” Clarke responded, as she helped Emori under the covers. 

“Emori and I didn’t even get the worst of it! Raven lied to those prisoners and they died because of it.” 

“Murphy, stop.” 

“You don’t get to tell me who or what I can and can’t be mad at Clarke.” 

“I know that. I also know that getting angry over this and stressing yourself out won’t help you feel better faster.” She said, giving Murphy a look. “If you have a bone to pick with Raven, it can wait until you two are better.” She added, in a tone that told Murphy that the topic wasn’t up for discussion. 

“Fine.” He huffed, turning his attention towards Emori. Though he still felt like crap, it was easy to see that the radiation sickness was affecting Emori worse than it was him. 

“I’m going to clean out Emori’s bucket. Call me if you need me.” Clarke finished, walking into the bathroom a few steps away from the bed. 

When Clarke came back, Murphy had fallen asleep so she focused her attention on Emori who appeared to be fighting sleep despite needing it. 

“Is there anything I can get you?” Clarke asked, noticing Raven hovering in the doorway. 

“Can I have water?” Emori asked, trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. 

“Of course. But after that you need to sleep ok?” 

Emori nodded and when Clarke looked up, she saw that Raven was gone. She shrugged it off and went down to the kitchen to get two glasses of water for Emori and Murphy before spending the rest of the afternoon in the bedroom, watching over them. 

It was quiet for the rest of the day. Clarke would get things for Murphy and Emori when they needed them, helped them when they threw up and mostly provided the comfort and understanding that they needed, without babying them. While the two slept, she dozed in the chair that she situated by Emori, staying alert enough to get up at a moment's notice when she was needed. 

During this time, Murphy was sitting up in bed awake. He was starting to feel better already but he knew that Clarke and Jackson had to be the ones to clear him before they even let him get to the bathroom by himself, never mind walking downstairs to join the others. Plus, he knew he’d start feeling better sooner than Emori because she was exposed to more radiation than he was and for the entirety of this sickness she was suffering more than him. 

He sat still in the bed and glared at the doorway, wishing Raven would come in, so he could be angry at her for what she did to Emori and the prisoners. He didn’t care if he was sick or not, what hurt him the most was seeing Emori in so much pain. She wasn’t doing any better than she was this morning, her stomach causing her constant pain. She was still throwing up even the littlest sips of water that Clarke tried to coax into her, curling up into a ball and clutching her stomach as she did so. It made his heart break, having to see her miserable. 

Luckily, he did get his wish. Since he was keeping his water down and hadn’t thrown up in a few hours, Jackson and Clarke agreed that he could try some broth for supper and if he kept it down, they’d try small amounts of regular solid food the next day and see how that went. When it was time to eat, Raven came up with the bowl of broth for him to try. 

“Here you go.” She said quietly, setting the bowl down on the bedside table. “Do you need anything else? More water?” 

“Not from you.” 

“Are you going to forgive me?” 

When he didn’t respond, Raven sighed and looked away. “Look, I’m sorry. I should have told the Eligius prisoners the truth about what they were getting into, but we still fixed the reactor. Everyone’s safe again.” 

“Not everyone you hypocrite.” 

“How am I a hypocrite?” 

“You did the same thing Clarke’s always had to do yet the big difference is that Clarke hasn’t blamed you or made you feel bad about it like how you always do to her.” 

“Clarke siding with McCreary and leaving Bellamy in the fighting pits to die is completely different from me lying to the Eligius prisoners. She went against our family, her friends. We may share Sanctum with them but those prisoners will never be our people.” 

Murphy only shook his head and Raven scoffed. 

“Wait, you’re fine with Clarke switching sides?” 

“I wouldn’t say that, but I do understand why she did it and I don’t blame her.” 

Raven looked to Clarke and saw her still dozing in her chair. She thought Clarke was asleep but unbeknownst to either, Clarke was actually awake and pretending to sleep, wanting to hear what they had to say. 

“Why don’t you blame her?” 

“Well, look at it this way. We all met each other when we were sent to the ground. Some of us might have known each other from school or just around the Ark growing up but the moment the drop ship landed, that was when we really had to interact with each other. Remember, Clarke didn’t even know who you were until you landed in the escape pod. From that point up until Praimfaya, we were on the ground for almost seven months. Three of those months Clarke was living in the woods and the other four months, she was constantly forced to make decisions that would benefit all of us and obviously there were people that didn’t agree and weren’t happy with what she came up with but I don’t remember anyone else coming up with any bright ideas to help ease the burden. Then after Praimfaya, she was alone with Madi for six years. She only knew us for six months. Other than Abby, Madi is the only other person from our group who’s been in Clarke’s life the longest. Of course she’s going to do what’s best for her daughter when war threatens their home.” 

“She still didn’t have to leave Bellamy for dead.” 

“She had every right to do that.” 

“How can you say that Murphy? Bellamy’s your family.” 

“And Madi is Clarke’s daughter. Put yourself in Clarke’s shoes Raven. Imagine having a night blood daughter. Then all of a sudden people who were your friends before the apocalypse chain you up in a room, take your daughter, and manipulate her to take the Flame. Bellamy and Gaia might not have forced Madi to take the Flame but they basically told her that the only way to win the war and save her home was if she became Commander. Madi is under eighteen so she can’t consent and as her mother, Clarke is the one that makes the choices for her until she’s old enough. Clarke said no to the Flame and Bellamy and Gaia did it anyway. If it was my kid, I would have killed Bellamy and Gaia as soon as I saw them. Pinning that kind of responsibility on a child isn’t right and I completely understand why Clarke left him. He violated her kid and as a parent I think she had the right to do worse than she did.” 

“Do you know why Clarke was so against the Flame?” 

“She saw what being Commander did to those who took the Flame. Lexa was Madi’s age when she ascended. I was there when Lexa died. I saw how much she meant to Clarke. Commanders die Raven. Clarke wants more for Madi than ruling a society and dying early. She wants Madi to actually have a childhood.” 

“Clarke was right.” Raven said quietly, thinking about the past few weeks they’ve been on Sanctum. “I mean look at what happened to Madi with Sheidheda. She almost died. I never thought of it like that.” 

Murphy nodded in agreement and paused when Emori shifted beside him. 

“I know it’ll be long overdue but once everyone comes back and we’re all settled and have everything with the Primes all sorted out, we all owe Clarke an apology. I know I’ll be giving her one.” 

Raven nodded and both were startled when Emori woke up and grabbed her bucket, throwing up instantly. Clarke was up too, by Emori’s side to comfort her as she was sick. 

“Hey Raven, when’d you get here?” She asked, to make it seem like she wasn’t eavesdropping on her and Murphy’s conversation. 

“Um just now actually. Jackson needed someone to bring Murphy his dinner.” 

Clarke nodded and Emori looked like she was about cry. 

“I want dinner.” She whimpered, looking at Clarke with watery eyes. 

“I know Emori, but you can’t even keep water down. It’d be cruel of me to feed you something knowing you’d only throw it up.” 

“Not fair.” Emori huffed, before laying back down. 

“I know. But in a couple days, it’ll be like this never happened. I’m going to rinse your bucket, keep resting.” 

When Clarke came back, Raven was gone and Murphy was eating the broth she brought. 

“Clarke?” 

“Yes Emori?” 

“I feel gross, can I take a shower?” 

“Yeah, let me get you some pajamas.” 

While Emori showered, Clarke stood by the slightly opened door in case her friend needed her. 

“Clarke?” 

“Yeah?” She asked, turning towards Murphy. 

“Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad to help you two.” 

“No. I mean thank you for everything you’ve done for us. Ever since the beginning. You’ve always taken care of us and we’ve repaid that kindness by acting like horrible friends.” 

“Shhh. You guys aren’t horrible. It’s ok.” 

“I’m sorry for anything I’ve ever said or done to you that hurt you in the past. I really am.” 

“I forgive you Murphy. It’s ok.” Clarke said, going over and giving Murphy a hug. 

“And thank you for taking care of me and Emori. We knew we could trust you.” 

Clarke gave Murphy a small smile but he could tell something was troubling her. She had a faraway look in her eye and he could tell she was thinking of something. 

“Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah. It’s just, one of the last things my mom told me before they put us in the drop ship and sent us to Earth was that my instincts were going to tell me to take care of everyone else. Then we were down on the ground and she couldn’t have been more right. Murphy, ever since then, I tried my best with what I had and sometimes it’s still hard to believe that there are only six of us from the drop ship left.” 

Murphy nodded in agreement but before he could say anything, Emori called out to Clarke needing her so she left Murphy’s bedside and went into the bathroom to help. 

A few hours later, while Murphy and Emori were sleeping, Clarke went to the spare bedroom that would have been Abby’s, to put Madi to bed. Until Murphy and Emori were better and back in their own room, Madi would be staying by herself in the spare and so far, she was loving it. Having her own space reminded her of life before the war and Clarke didn’t mind, especially since Madi was becoming a teenager and would need some space. If she liked it enough, Clarke would let her stay in the room even after their friends were better. 

The room was in the basement level of the house, along with six other bedrooms and a small living area and bathroom. Raven, Miller and Jackson, Niylah, Gaia, and Indra all had their rooms on this level with a second spare bedroom for if or when Octavia joined them. Even though Bellamy had banished her, Clarke insisted that they keep a space for her, just in case. 

The first floor of the house had the living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry room, and bathroom like a normal house and the second floor had three bedrooms and a bathroom, which was where Clarke and Madi, Emori and Murphy, and Bellamy and Echo’s rooms were. With so many people in the house it sounded like it would be very crowded, but it worked well for the group and they even had room to spare since not everyone was around to occupy all the rooms. 

After tucking Madi in, Clarke left her room and stood in the basement living space, seeing Raven looking at her. 

“Clarke can we talk?” 

“Sure.” She said, gesturing towards the couch, sitting down and inviting Raven to join her. 

“I’m sorry.” Raven started, looking at Clarke. “We all make mistakes and while you don’t judge us for ours, I’ve judged you for yours without at least trying to understand where you were coming from. I’ve said some pretty nasty things to you when you might not have deserved it and after what happened with the reactor, I can start to understand how hard it is to make choices in situations where not everyone is going to benefit. I’m really sorry for everything I’ve said to you without even considering why you did it in the first place.” She finished, seeing Clarke nod. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, with the reactor, but if you hadn’t made the choice you did, we’d all be dead. Sure, the ideal number of deaths in a situation like this is zero, and it might have been wrong to lie to the Eligius prisoners about what they were getting into, but Raven, you did what you had to do to save everyone. I don’t fault you for that at all. Without you, there’d be no place for us to live and nobody left to live here.” 

“Will you forgive me?” 

“I already have.” Clarke said gently, before pulling Raven into a hug. “We can’t change the past so it’s useless to dwell on it. We should instead focus that energy on improving the future.” 

“Do you think Emori and Murphy will forgive me?” 

“They’ll come around. If they don’t, I’ll talk to them.” 

Raven nodded and the two hugged again. 

“Speaking of Murphy and Emori, I need to get back to them. I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” 

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Raven agreed, getting up and going into her bedroom. 

Clarke went back to her room and settled in her chair, ready to watch over Murphy and Emori overnight, wondering what new adventure life on this planet would bring them next. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
